15. How You Will Make Your Most Beautiful Music

The Space Between the Notes

Dear Frazer,

Often, it is thought that it is the instruments that make the music. They are not enough. It is the silences between the sounds that the instruments make that are required in “order” to create music.

Can you appreciate the silences of life? Is it not the times of reflection, contemplation, and openness – more than that of the noise that you make in your life – that allow space for conviction to rise and new trajectories to be set.

If you are in a life transition or sense that one is coming, do not ignore the spaces between. Life is not interested in your noise without the elements that transform it into music. Allowed silences make the difference from precarious cacophonies of the unrememberable, the unremarkable, or the disposable and that which the world can only come to recognize as greatness, extraordinary, and powerful.

The spaces between are like gravity wherein one attracts all that one may desire. They are the places of gestation for your creative genius and, yes, you have genius just as we all do. The silences allow you to be which is the precursor if you are to become. This is a non-negotiable. Begin today to plan for that place in your garden between the rows, the spaces that are needed for the health of what you are growing. And then demand it from yourself. At the right moment, you will reap the greatest harvest that the garden may yield even if you did less planting.

Yours, The Pilgrim

14. Everything That We Can Be

Dear Frazer,

All of us must become what we CAN be. This may be the whole point of life. Anything that hinders this process in you or in anyone that is on this planet is not helping you. You have the right, the privilege, and possible obligation to ruthlessly turn that around, whether it be people, places, foods, music, books, circumstances, thoughts, feelings, or anything that can influence you at all. You must become as free as possible in who you are and what the transformed you decides to do.

To serve others you must be healed or attempts to help others will harm you! as well as the very people that you try and help. It will just hurt you more. I see this all the time. Typically, an unhealed healer is also a Liar. Liar spelled with a capital “L” means persons who basically act as pass-throughs for lies that are sown into the fabric of their souls. It does not mean someone who intentionally deceives to harm another person. A Liar’s lies are unintentional, but because they are attached to Belief Systems, they are powerful enough to come through you as though on their own – being perceived, however, as your volitional act that you are responsible for. Questioner: “Why did you do that?” You: “I don’t know, I Just did it without thinking.” Know that this is not the Real You. You know you are not a liar.

You know that you are a Liar when lying magically happens in your life. You are literally full of lies (not that you try and deceive others, that is different). They are attached to or manifest in every activity that you are involved in. Your fall back for just about everything that you do is sourced by force, control, and manipulation rather than by power, freedom, and harmony, the combination of which looks like magic to those who cannot “see.”

Do not blame others for your plight. The truth is that the largest hindrances to your transformation are inside of you. You need to accept this if you wish to advance. If it is difficult for you to look within then I can help you to establish practices that will give you the great advantage of having an extremely satisfying appreciation for your Self.

You cannot know who you are and share that with others through what you say and do without inner transformation. The process itself will reveal who you are, what you want, and what is your power. You may not walk in your power in life until the balances inside are tipped in your favor. Welcome to the New Game, wherein the players are those who are fed up and want this change more than anything else and who are more committed to the process of healing than to any other thing. Welcome to the most exciting and rewarding journey of a lifetime.

All of us must begin now to become everything that we can be.
Not what others want us to be.
Not what we think we should be based on what we learned in the world.
What this process entails for you, well, we must first journey within to find out.
I am sure that you will be pleased by the perfection of what you find there.

Until the next time my friend,

The Pilgrim

13. The Parable of the Acorn

Dear Frazer,

This is the parable of the acorn and the two soils:

An acorn lived its entire young life in the branches of a mighty oak tree. It loved everything about the oak tree and living in the heights of its branches. Up there, life seemed perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

One day the acorn noticed something peculiar. The season changed the air became cooler. The majestic leaves of the Father oak transformed to brilliant hues of brown, orange, and gold. Other acorns in the oak tree changed, too. Some brave acorns fell from the Father oak to the ground below. Other acorns, some fearful and others that were lazy, remained on the branches and withered and died. They too fell from the oak tree. Some of the acorns that cast themselves away from the branch on which they lived, fell to the earth below. But, they landed far from the Father oak and died.

As the acorn saw all of this, it wondered why all of this happened. How is it that the acorns that remained on the Father oak’s branches died? Why did some of those that fell to the earth perished, while others lived on? How far was the drop? Will it kill me? He thought these and many other things as he pondered what to do. He didn’t wish to wither and die on the branch of the Father Oak, as other acorns seemed to do. But all the same, the choice to fall was a scary one.

He decided to ask his Father, the oak tree. “Father, what must I do to live?” He asked.

His Father replied, “Ah, my little acorn, I was once just as you are now. In order to live I fell to the earth to die and rise again. This is a great but true mystery. I want nothing more for you than to see you also become a great and mighty oak tree. But there is only one way, and the choice is yours to make alone. I cannot do it for you. But you must remember to remain close enough to the shade of my branches for a time, where I may still provide for you, in order to live.”

The acorn learned later that the Father gave all of his offspring this very same instruction, and yet few were those that followed them.

But not this acorn. He wanted to be just like his Father at all costs. So, he readied his mind and strengthened his heart, and took the frightening leap out into nothingness. To his surprise, the fall was quite pleasant. He saw the earth below, covered in leaves of brown, orange, and gold – leaves that had also fallen from his Father’s branches. When he landed, the leaves broke his fall, but the acorn still went through them to embed in the rich, loam soil below.

The rains came and went, the air cooled more and more, and the acorn was covered entirely with earth – a blanket that the Father Oak had made for him. He learned that in this new soil, his Father still cared for him and provided for him. Yet there were other acorns that fell outside of his Father’s protection. There, the soil was quite different. The Father Oak’s covering could not protect them, and some were taken by the extreme chill of winter. Others were easy targets for squirrels and other predators to find. Many of them perished.

The acorn fell into a deep slumber. It awoke months later to find that the whole winter had passed. Not only that, but a large root and several smaller ones had begun to grow beneath him, reaching down into the earth. It was much different from what he thought it would feel like. He was anchored to the ground, and it was fitting. And what is more, a small stem with a green leaf grew up from the top of his shell. He was free, an acorn no longer, transformed into an oak sapling that was changing from day to day into the likeness of the Father Oak. It was his dream come true, and he praised his Father and thanked him for showing him the way.

In the years that followed he grew into a mighty tree whose heights soared up to that of his Father’s. They delighted in one another. When the time was right, the acorn turned oak tree bore much fruit. He, too, instructed his offspring in the way that they should go, the way of the Father Oak.

Frazer, I know that in the years to come life will make you into a mighty oak.

Until next time,

The Pilgrim

12. On the Fear of God

Dear Frazer,

Recently I spoke at length with a woman in a hotel. She was excited to talk with someone about God and spirituality, and at one point exclaimed that she was, “a God-fearing woman.” The notion of which, of course, comes from Proverbs 9:10 which I heard often quoted in religious circles, that, “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” But, is fear really what God wants from us?

I stopped her speaking and pointed out what she had just said.

“Is your experience of God that of fear?” I asked.

“No,” she replied.

“Do you believe that God wants you to feel that way towards him?” I asked again.

“Well, I guess not,” she said.

I shared some of my experience with her. God never forces or coerces me in anything. He is ever patient, waiting for me to catch up or wake up to give me more wisdom, knowledge, and understanding – elements of true change.

If God is love, how do you reconcile that God wants you to fear him with this statement by a disciple of Jesus: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” (1 John 4:18)

Men use fear to manipulate the behavior of other men. But, and think about this, if you stop behaving a certain way because you believe that God will zap you, then it is an act that you put on when you think you are being watched. As soon as you feel you are alone and safe you will do what you want to do. That, my friend, is hypocrisy.

When you fear someone, they are not truly welcome in your life. You will not share intimately with them, or if you do, it is in limited capacity. Has anyone ever feared you? How did it make you feel? It is repulsive, is it not?

I believe that God is for us. That he would rather we try and get to a state of true change because it is what we want, than fake change because of fear of retribution. And, that he would rather we engage him in a state of love rather than that of fear.

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Luke 12: 6,7

My new friend, the woman, saw instantly that, “God-fearing,” and, “loved by God,” are two distinct categories that are incompatible. She expressed a degree of relief and appreciation, because a long standing barrier between her and God as her Father was dismantled in an instant.

It was good to speak with you the other day. It never seems to matter how much time passes. Let me know how your new understanding of your highest and strongest values is impacting your life.

Until then, I am as always here to serve.

The Pilgrim

11. If Surrender is Good, Why is it Unpleasant?

Dear Frazer,

I prefer to walk alone – a fact that I believe you know. Know thySelf! When another person is with me my attention divides and therefore my energy is divided – upon the subjects of my attention and also what their attention is upon. The more people that there are – and don’t get me wrong this is a great thing in most situations – the more my focus hones into them and the situation. This is why I excel at certain forms of leading and not others. I get put into the wrong place sometimes because of common assumptions, but I am learning to position myself for greatness according to who I am.

That peculiar focus of mine is also why, since my spiritual journey is my highest priority, I prefer to be alone for long swatches of time.

As I was in Blendon Woods today. It was all about trust. As though the reason behind my precarious past at its core is about trust – that God loves me and cares for me and will do more that I ask or imagine.

Which dovetails with the video you sent me on surrender and your question as to why surrender feels unpleasant.

May I postulate that it is indicative of feelings and beliefs that you have towards God, that are dissonantly interfering with your ability to harmonize as a creator in life?

Trust, I believe, is the opposite of fear. Fear engenders control and more fear. I see now that it is through my fear that I try and control life, which breeds more fear and need for more feelings of being in control.

If “surrender” or “letting go” or “burning off” all equate a statement that, “I trust God,” no matter what form of deity you see him as, then your experience will align with your belief system, within which are also all of the unpleasant emotions that are associated with the memories of events that made the belief system necessary in the first place.

All for now, my friend.

The Pilgrim

10. Where Your Truth Is Not, and Is, Found

Dear Frazer,

What if “Messiah” meant salvation, which it did, and salvation didn’t mean entry into a religion or a special group but meant having a direct line to God as Father again? And what if Father, rather than a being that is far off, distant and coldly judging, “do this don’t do that” person, what if He were really inside of you, a permanent part of you, your Source, which is what “father” means.

What if it is the job of every pastor, rabbi, or otherwise religious teacher to keep you from attending to the Source within you? What if such a person or figure were to keep talking at you, feeding you information that kept your eyes out on the world and on him, rather than Him? What if this were all a distraction from getting to the real you, which can only be inside of you, where Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is, and where God is said to abide? What evil thing it is, if all of this were true, that these so-called pastors, priests, religious leaders do.

And they will condemn you for attempting to get free.

I can only caution and warn you against their charismatic charms, which I also fell prey to in the youth of my perspective. I blame no one for falling captive, and it may be that where you are in your truth requires it. But do not say that you have not been lovingly warned as one who was tied up in such a tomb.

Did you know that Jesus’ very name, “Yeshua”, means salvation? So then, by everything that he was called as he walked this earth, all names, matronymics, monikers, and brands as we say today, he was to be interpretively perceived as salvation. Therefore, the notion of this, not how man would interpret it, or how people would gravitate towards him because of it, but how God intentionally planted him as such on the earth is what matters the most.

People may have thought that they needed saved from the Romans. They may have thought they needed saved from the oppression of government, such as the tax gatherers. They may have needed save from the evils of their fellow men, the unclean, the sinners such as the prostitutes, lepers, and others that they cast from their temple. What of the despised Samaritans? However, all of these were such as Jesus had to do with, while concurrently condemning those who were supposed to know salvation when it hit them in the face, the rabbis and religious leaders who tried to pry the people away from him.

There was the popular saying in the 1990s, “The truth is out there.” As though it were findable in the ethers of space or something. But what if rather we change it around, as I have come to fully believe, that “the truth is in there?”

The discovery of your truth is often a lonesome road, although it is not lonely. The reason for this is because no one “out there” will tell you what it is. And if they try, flee as fast as you can, because they are not able to do so. Regardless of their intentions, they are liars and hypocrites, poor actors most to be pitied among men, blind guides leading the blind to the certainty of the pit.

Don’t come at your truth from a point of scarcity, as though there’s not enough of it in the universe. Rather, come from certainty of abundance and believe in your heart that, “ask, and you shall receive. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and it will be opened to you.” Where will it be opened? “Out there,” somewhere? No! It is not even possible. It is, and always will be, In There.

And it is to there that you and I must go.

All for now. As always I remain your friend and await your reply.


The Pilgrim

9. On the Root of All Insanity

The body is an instrument. It is played by vibrations like any other sound-maker. We begin to destroy the body when we teach children to be quiet. Children come from the womb with intimate knowledge on how to play the body. The limbs scramble agog in the air and swing to and fro, seemingly aimlessly. When they cry out it is from the heart, from the depths of the soul. They are calling out to the universe to meet their needs and using every ounce of their being to do so. Somehow, we lose this on the journey to become an adult.

But the fact is we are made to leak. Tears are just as important as laughter, although we are made to become self-conscious of both. We are designed to make sound and to project the vibrations from within out into the physical world, whether by speech or song. I don’t know about you, but I became so inhibited as a child that I’m terrified of singing publicly. I have a goal, now, to sing a song that I wrote on a stage in front of an audience.

Some think that the body is disposable because of its temporal nature. However, it is intrinsic to the human experience. If you pay attention, you see that the sound that your voice makes vibrates through your body. You can feel it in the depth of your gut. If you observe carefully, singers use their whole bodies to craft their art. Celine Dion wields her whole being, not just her voice. The body is an instrument.

The same is true of those whose art is that of playing musical instruments. We say that they play the instrument, but it is really the body that is being played. The instrument is merely an extension of that which is played. Watch carefully how the performer’s whole body is used in the expression of the soul coming through the sound of the cello, the guitar, the piano, the violin, the saxophone.

Art is where we rediscover our childlikeness. It requires vulnerability to revert to our natural state of expression. It feels awkward because of our conditioning against it, which is the first form of abuse that most of us experience.

The child has no sense of self-consciousness without such conditioning. The child plays his body with abandon; he comes innately endowed as the singular arbiter of his dance, the exclusive virtuoso to his corpus of protoplasmic puissance.

Or didn’t you notice? Were you too busy trying to smother his fire?
Where can shame be possibly found in such a one as that? Here is where we find the root of all insanity, that we – the offspring of God – would take the very thing that makes us like Him and distort it into that which must be hiding under fig leaves. What people miss in scripture is the threaded theme throughout of reversion to the childlike state before God – crucial to the experience of being Fathered by Him and to the experience of love, joy, and peace. It is positionally the only state that matters in relation to Him, and the one that religious people take pains to not tell you about.

However, the one you claim with your mouth as Lord has this to say about it to his own disciples,

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, ‘Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, ‘Truly I say to you, unless you turn back and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea!'”

Matthew 18:6

Let me ask you a few questions, then, to see if you understand. Are you able to cry? Are you able to shout with joy? Is your body, your instrument, allowed to play the music of your dance? Can you understand why it is for your greatest good to “turn back and become like children”? And do you know why it is a crime in heaven to cause one to stumble?

8. Jesus Had the Same Problem

Saturday, 19 October 2019

Dear Frazer,

Do you remember in our last conversation how I complained that people, and I should specify them as Christians, have similar reactions when I share what I believe I am learning from God from my heart? There is an instant numbness, a recoil, a dimming to the eyes that happens which, when taken with the words they speak, equates a quiet yet definite judgment along with a peculiar withdrawal. The very idea that I could be learning anything from God, without the accountability of men, is summarily rejected. Who am I, after all – a question that I ask every day.

It is peculiar and perplexing because I speak only what I have come to believe is the truth, and that in the face of lies that we tend to believe. Yet perhaps the extent of our deceptedness, or deceptivity, is greater than I had ever imagined. It is almost as though we want to perpetuate it as a natural state of being, a cocoon in which we sop up whatever nutrients we ate in the world when we were yet caterpillars, which equates a form of self-cannibalism in which we never get to escape the cocoon and morph into that marvelous butterfly with the varicolored wings – a completely different creature – all because we choose to feast on lies that we’ve come to cherish more than the truth that sets us free, the truth that would destroy the old you in light of the transformation of the one that comes, radiantly, in the wake of its glory.

At every turn when Jesus spoke and acted he encountered resistance. You can see it clearly in the Book of John in chapter 8. He is telling the people where his words come from and, as he stated also elsewhere, that he only speaks that which his Father teaches him teaches him to say. Also elsewhere, he teaches that God is the Father of each one of us, and that we are all brothers. Man has no place above another man in the kingdom of heaven. Such truths do not compute in the Carnival, which is born and maintained on hierarchies where those at the top soar and reap riches from the broken backs of those below.

Even a slight elevation of one man above another is both damaging and diminishing. It is damaging because it is inherently forceful; the weight of the man above crushes the one below, even if it is a subtle crushing. It is diminishing because if God is right and we are made in His image then each of us is equally in that image and the playing field among his children is level. To set yourself above another is essentially to take a bit of the seat of God and, even more horrifically, to get between the person below you and the God that he needs to be his, presently, that he may heal and grow. This is the fault of many a priest and pastor, but also of the majority of those who take no such titles.

On the other hand, Jesus came with an understanding of the way of the kingdom of heaven, the basileia as he called it, the mind of God in my estimation. He turned it all over; that the greatest in the kingdom shall be the least, that you must come as a child or not at all. The sense is that if you have strength you are to help those who have less. Place them above you. Undergird them. Make them more important than your self. Love those who are incapable of mirroring its return back to you.

All of which is a meal that, at the table of the Carnival, is made of ingredients that are not savory nor stomachable to it. However, you can clearly see that if we humans were to adopt the same attitudes as Jesus, the world would rapidly change.

Unfortunately, it would also lead to our demise, or at the very least a sequestering. Thus, the resistance from those with whom I have so earnestly tried to share. What the Carnival cannot eat, it kills.

Choose wisely.

Until next time, stay safe – but not too safe; have fun – but not too much fun.


7. On Self-medication, Slavery, and Real Joy and Peace

Sunday, 25 August 2019

Dear Frazer,

I had to write to you again. I hope that you do not mind. This morning’s time in the woods was too rich to keep to myself. First, I sensed Him with me. Not just like hovering around, but inside and all around. Accompanying His presence is the abiding sense that, as he said, “apart from Me you can do nothing.” There is no thing I want to do apart from Him, because I have been there and seen that even the richest moments that the Carnival can give are like sand and ashes in the mouth in comparison to the cream and honey of the kingdom. I wish everyone knew this.

As we communed, and I lived in Him and He in me, He showed me that the drinking (or any form of self- medication) is simply an attempt to try and feel better – which isn’t bad in itself if we go to the right source. We subconsciously know that we aren’t designed to feel badly. Rather we are designed to run a specific way that propagates and multiplies life. At the tree, we traded in the “by design” for the cheapest of substitutes that have not ever worked for us for thousands of years. Drinking elevates the emotional state – which is depressed from not knowing God and therefore not knowing ourselves – temporarily and falsely. For those who fall into the trap that it is the best that can be had on earth and make it a “can’t do without,” it is a poison that is slowly killing their bodies.

The state that we are designed for, and the one that we seek in alcohol, drugs, sex, and games, is joy and peace. We may not conjure joy and peace on our own. There is a specific transaction that must occur for them to be in us and encompass us. Joy and peace come from a specific source. When that source is absent, or when we aren’t present in it, we are relegated to the pathetic state of a human who cannot attain joy and peace but who longs for it in the depths of his being but can never quite get there so why not just drug it up?

The problem with this – the way that seems right to a man – is that it is not only a lie but is also an inappropriate yoke to put on him. Any yoke that is not fitting is a form of slavery. What you yield to is your master. We are not born to be mastered, but to overcome every thing that seeks to enslave us. We are born to win. As God told Cain prior to the first recorded murder, “Sin is crouching at your door and its desire is to have you, but you must master it.”

In contrast to a yoke from the Carnival, and any yoke from the world system is not fitting and therefore a form of slavery even if it is only slight, there is the yoke of Jesus, who said, “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

To say that His yoke is easy doesn’t capture the essence of its meaning. It is fit for use, or more specifically, fit to use on you. To contrast the yoke of the world, which chafes and often has a destructive element to it, Jesus’ yoke is supremely appropriate for any man, woman, or child that takes it upon themselves.

“You will find rest for your souls” means that your soul doesn’t have rest apart from His yoke. You will be healed of the chafing of the Carnival and its harnesses, and He will put you into a state of being wherein you are able to receive joy and peace from the source, which is God your Father, and He wants to inundate you with them.

I hope that this helps you, as it helps me.

May you have His joy and peace on your journey.



6. On Royalty

Saturday, 24 August 2019

Dear Frazer,

This morning at my Cathedral my mind was illumined with the richness of an aspect of my identity as God sees me. That is to say I had revelation about the truth of myself. Which means that if it is true of me that it is true of you, too. So, I am compelled to write to you that you may share in this understanding and, if the understanding becomes belief, share also in the glory and power of the nature that God restored to us in Christ Jesus – being beings made in His image and according to His likeness.

As I tromped through the woods I emptied and opened myself to Him, as is my custom. It is important to do this regularly, if not always, in order to hear Him even a little above the noise of the Carnival. Our Father has no coercive bone in his body. He will force no thing upon you, even if it is good. The Carnival is only content when your mind is clouded by its noise, that of the TVs, the Internet, the radio, and all the good people in your life who “know” and will tell you all that long and loudly until your head is spun out of reach of the truth, but who are really simply on the journey of discovery like you and me.

The words that come this morning concerning our identity are these, “royal warrior priest.” We aren’t made to be quivering, cowering, grotesque impostors who try and “nice” people into the kingdom of heaven. We aren’t made to be fellow liars of the masses in the sea of the Carnival for six days a week, until suddenly on Sunday morning, after the heated argument with the spouse and taking the anger out on the children, we arrive at a building where upon entering it we are suddenly transfigured into beings who are so smiley and glowing to the pastor that he would never believe that the other 98% of their lives are a gross sham. He actually believes that Sunday is enough to turn the Carnival up on its end and that his attendees are disciple of Jesus Christ, they who only practice a modicum of a fraction of a particulate of His teachings.

Such a scene decries the possibility of a “royal warrior priest.” An RWP is first and foremost royal, which means that such a person is royalty. But he is not royalty merely in the sense of being a prince and riding in the open carriage waving to the masses who have thronged the streets to catch a glimpse of his glorious visage that, without saying a word, shouts to the world, “I am so much better than you, my lowly peasants.” No, the royalty of the kingdom of heaven turns the “way that seems right to a man” on its end. Many things that are believed as accepted truth in the Carnival are actually the opposite of the reality of heaven. As Jesus said, “The greatest among you shall be your servant,” and, “The last shall be first and the first shall be last.”

To be a RWP royal is to have such authority on earth so as to represent the royal rule of heaven. It is to under gird those who haven’t yet realized the authority of heaven. Such authority comes through training, through being a disciple of Jesus. Authorization to enact heavenly law on earth is impossible when it is not yet written on your heart. Being a Christian who is still full of the wisdom and instruction of the Carnival, which is no wisdom at all and is instruction that the wise will learn to flee from, is a Christian who may indeed be saved but is actually working at cross-purposes with our Lord.

I shall have to get back to you on the rest of its meaning, that of warrior and priest. But until then I pray that you continuously realize His presence with you, every day, and the constancy of His love for you.

All for now, brother. Until next time I remain yours very sincerely,